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Set your own agenda for living

The Importance of Self

The most important relationship you will ever have in your life is with yourself. I know that may sound strange because you are you and there is nothing you can do about it but that is categorically not true. As you can change your relationship towards people you can also change your relationship towards yourself.

How do you talk to yourself? Are you always gentle, kind, encouraging and understanding when dealing with yourself or are you sometimes negative, harsh or impatient. If you are more the latter than the former then you must work at being the former. You must work at cutting out all negative thoughts about yourself and establishing a good relationship. When you find that you are attacking yourself, you must stop and change the way you are talking to yourself. Keep doing this and you will quickly establish a better rapport with you and eventually that little nagging, critical voice will disappear.

How do you see yourself as a person? Are you a lion or a mouse? Write down what you think of yourself, two columns one the good points and one the bad; at least 3 in each column. Be honest. Now cross out the bad points and just concentrate on your good points. Add some more good points. That is you. Have a positive vision of you. Work at it until you like what you see. In other words like yourself at all times because if you donít like yourself then why should anyone else like you?

We are all different, thank God, all of us unique and perfect in our own way. There is no such thing as the perfect human being, it doesnít exist, it is a fantasy. There will only ever be one of you and you must strive to reach your potential. You canít do that if you donít come to terms with yourself to start with. Donít concern yourself with the way other people look or behave, thatís their world, just concentrate on yours. If youíre ok in your world they can be ok in their world.

Make time for yourself, for relaxing and being at ease in your own company. Go somewhere quiet that is without TV, radio, pubs, mobile phones or the hundred other distractions we devise to escape our inner thoughts or go for a walk and listen to your wonderful inner world and remember it is your inner world. You control it. Thoughts bubble up from the subconscious, through external stimulus, internal biological and chemical reactions, or we drag them into being but they are our thoughts. We can structure them, control them for our benefit as we do in most of our thinking e.g. when we reason, work out problems, add up, make sure we get the right change, catch a train, shop, book a holiday etc. It is no different to control thoughts about ourselves and our lives and use it to our advantage, just as we use our brain in our day to day lives.

Thoughts donít actually exist, we create them but used incorrectly they can have a detrimental affect on our lives. When you find a quiet spot, try meditating, emptying your mind of all thought. It is difficult at first but it gets easier the more you try and your mind is refreshed by it. Make up your own mantra.

Think positively, think of yourself as a winner at all times and ten times more so if you are going through a tough period.

Say to yourself every day "I LIKE MYSELF" and keep saying it. If you don't like yourself no-one else will and who cares what anyone else thinks anyway! It is you and only you who are responsible for you. Take Control.